Serial Kitchen Offenses

The kitchen should be a place of joy. However, felony kitchen offenses take place every day. At home or at work, no one is safe. Below are real life accounts of crimes. Names were left out to protect the accountable.

1. Chip Bags

What’s the point of rolling up a chip bag to only preserve a handful of crumbs dusting the bottom of the bag? Do you expect me to sprinkle said crumbs over a bowl of salsa and eat it with a spoon? Because that is exactly what I did.

2. Creamer Carton

You want me to throw a fit that would make Joffrey Baratheon blush? Leave a teaspoon of almond creamer sitting in the fridge. Sitting there and masquerading as a magic coffee fairy about to transform my dark roast into a creamy, delicious treat. (Note: It is me who does this to myself every week.)

3. Leftover Tupperware Containers

It never fails—I’ll think of those delicious leftovers I have stewing in planet-killing plastic all day only to come home to find one bite left. ONE BITE! As if to say, “Here’s a taste of what you won’t be having for dinner.”

4. Condiments

From salsa to siracha, leaving a dollop in the container is just cruel and unusual punishment. Just throw it away and add it to the grocery list!

5. Flat Beer

The worst offense on the list. Perhaps, you just wanted a beer with dinner or during the game, but didn’t finish it. Don’t put in back in the fridge. Flat beer is wasted beer and that is a serious crime.

We’ve all had to deal with roommates, co-workers and partners that commit serial kitchen offenses. I know I’m guilty. What kitchen crimes did I miss? Let me know in the comments or tweet me @daily_scramble. Happy holiday and protect those leftovers!


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